I have literally been awake for 24 hours, head buried, vomiting and absorbing knowledge. My 8am midterm was alright, considering the level of difficulty and the infamous class curve. I did, however, woke up extremely early way before dawn (yesterday? this morning? fack what day is it today?) to study for it and I haven’t slept since then. I’ve been studying for tomorrow’s midterm (aka learning 5 weeks worth of lectures in 1 day and memorizing it well enough to regurgitate an A). The only break I had was to watch the GS vs SA game, which was by far more stressful than this morning’s midterm lol. Just kidding, it was a great game. The team with class versus the energizer bunny team, dynamic. Anyway, I figured no matter how tough my classes are, it’s not even that bad since I find it a lot more enjoyable and acceptable. Everything I learn now will be applicable in the near and/or far future, one career or another because I refuse to let it be otherwise.
I don’t even know why I’m here… on tumblr as my only break for the day/night. I should sleep. But I’m scared that if I sleep, I’m going to wake up and forget everything I just learned :(
I throw on a beanie and sunglasses in the morning and 90% of the population automatically assumes I’m hungover.
The other 10% assumes I’m still drunk/faded.
Even on weekdays.
Ain’t no joke though.
I haven’t been this medicated up since….
Okay it wasn’t even that long ago (end of last quarter), but being un-recreationally medicated feels a shit ton more harsh lol. That’s the shit I don’t like doe.
How bad is my reputation here!? I can’t be mellow and grieving without people thinking I’m faded or drunk or both. I was accused too many times tonight, it’s ridic.
Positively thinking, like my homie said, people are just so used to seeing me bubbly and strong all the time that they can’t possibly think of any other reason for my swollen and red eyes besides alcohol and weed. In which case my reputation is then quite good? Ha.
In other and more important news, rest in peace KJY. Your presence in my life helped shaped me and fucked me over all at the same time, but overall you were simply a pleasure. You were the man amongst boys, even while we were young and stupid. I’ve missed you so much and I’ll miss you forever more. To the fucking stars homie, to all of that and beyond. Cheers.
I’ve been averaging 2 red bulls and 2 cups of coffee per day for the past 5 days (officially 6 days). And I’ve been spending more time in the library than my own room. AND alla that bullshit going on. And I’ve been lacking sleep. And I HAD NO ALCOHOL TODAY. First non-thirsty thursday of 2013. Ha.
It’s Sunday already! And I spent Saturday night completely sober! Very proud, not an alcoholic 0:) As proud as I am of myself, I’m more proud of my homies for keeping it straight but still manage to have legitimate fun. Then again Saturdays are usually like this. We just get massively inebriated Thursday and Friday night that more alcohol is just not worth it. Instead, we play cute family games (ie. Uno) and let our insane pride get in the way of petty things like sleep. These fellas <3 Can’t live with them, can’t live without them!
I thoroughly enjoy warm nights like these when we all gather and have genuine sober, spontaneous fun. I think I finally realize that these people around me aren’t just my friends, they’re my classmates, neighbors, roommates, tutors, brothers, motivators, and demotivators (lol) all at once. A selected few of these bromies I can honestly say are like my third. I love them, I really do. All the bullshit that tires me out only made me realize who amongst them really mattered to me and who’s only a passerby in my life. But these selected few, I find myself just loving them more and more, even through the bads. Because when nights like these happens, that’s when everything just falls into place and I see them all for what they truly are,
Adorable motherfuckers :)
of a lightweight alcoholic.
I started drinking from 1230pm today, since the 2nd quarter of the niners vs falcon game. And a pitcher of beer turned into a pitcher of mojito turned into wine with physics homework turned into a lot more beer turned into a couple of bottles of soju turned into more wine turned into vodka and low key some grass my good friend left in my room a couple of days ago. That’s the thing I love about this place, friends I just met trusts me instantly and feels the need to share, so whatever goodies they left in my room after a night of drinking or smoking, they just say, go ahead keep it and enjoy it. And you really don’t have to tell me twice.
But yeah so it’s 4am now and I’m still drinking.
We, my bro and I, officially broke our record (1230-4pm, almost 16 hours). Not so much a good thing, nothing to be proud of LOL, but definitely not too shabby since we promised that starting tomorrow he’ll help me out with my academic shit and I’ll help keep him straight. It’s a win-win in the end, just gotta get some sleep at this point. It’s hard to explain.
A night hike sounds really good right now.
Let the isolation begin.
Hurts too much haha.
First day of classes this quarter and I’m already buzzing off of adrenaline. I’m just seriously high on productivity. I feel very accomplished and proud of myself.
I woke up at 720 to go to TAPS with a homie to get my parking permit for the quarter, waited a long while until a little after 8 and went straight to the gym. The crew took forever and a day to wake up, ironic since the whole morning workout routine was their idea but they wouldn’t wake up if I didn’t call them endlessly. When they finally joined me, I was already almost an hour into my zone so I decided to stay an extra hour. Time flew, did not feel the two hours insane routine…. Until later LOL.
I could’ve easily gotten my necessary workout for the day even without the early morning gym session since I literally trekked the entire campus today to run errands. Book store, counseling, sticker, FA… There is not a corner on campus I did not go to. Eventually my first class of the day happened at 5pm, grubbed dinner with the crew, and even hit the library for a good 2-3 hours afterwards to knock out those physics problem extra early. Watched a TV show in the warm confinement of my own room with a homie like last quarter, and here I am now TAF (tired as fvck) but feeling absolutely terrific. Definitely a brilliant start to what I hope to be an even better quarter than the last. Here we go tho!
It’s really hard for me to be sentimental and post a meaningful entry when I was just showered with a plethora of orgasmic music from me & my homie’s shared dropbox. But it really must be done. 2012 ended, 2013 has begun, and I haven’t self-reflected on what I have learned and must learn. I’ll give it a shot though. Forewarning: with every bass drop comes an burst of positivity. It just does.
2012? tl;dr version? holy fvck.
I’ve never grown, experienced life, and changed so much in 12 months. On the surface, of course I’m still the same happy, friendly, outgoing lil ol me, but my mentality, my outlook on life, it’s just unbelievable how different I am since one year ago today. I guess it comes with the old age; dreams and goals altered to fit reality, success stories taken with a grain of salt, and love has been placed last. Sounds like I’ve turned into negative nancy, but on the contrary, I feel much more refreshed. I had a spectacular year, filled with more than I could have asked for. I visited my motherland, spent invaluable moments and time with my extended family, created beautiful memories with a man I truly once loved, gained a handful of brothers that I’ve always wanted, all while doing just absolutely everything that I’ve never done before.
I’m very satisfied with how I ended 2012. I definitely paved multiple roads for me to choose from. Academically, there’s only one road, one goal, one way, and I’m closer than ever to reaching that goal. I won’t fulfill it in 2013, but I’m paving my way to a flawless 2014. Family is always first, that will never change. My relationship with my family will be stronger this year; there’s a huge obstacle for us to climb over that will require all of our strengths and support combined. Love will have to wait, for nothing good will come out of falling in love in 2013, personally. I’ve been in a relationship since 2009, the last 4 years of my life I’ve dedicated myself to one man. I deserve a break, I need a break, and I will thoroughly enjoy this break. Financially, 2013 will be the year I’ll make bank! I’m going to start bulking up my brag sheet, working those under the table jobs, and immersing myself in internships. And nothing else matters in my life. Fun? Goes without saying.
Let’s go, 2013!
Moving back in for the winter quarter tomorrow. Got a new sound system set for my room. Hopefully my new neighbor will be as chill as my old neighbor. Or even more chill. Because this shit’s so bomb, I can’t let it go to waste and not use it on blast and show off it’s full potential ;) Bahahahaha too excited!
Feels kind of awkward, but good and relaxing. Though it somewhat irks me to sit here and read texts from my LA homies, spazzing how “godly” Mat Zo is/looks. Granted they’re all WAF, HAF, and rolling. And if I went out tonight, it still wouldn’t be for Mat Zo. I refused to let tonight be the 10th straight night anyway. I put my cap on 9.
Wonder who’s playing in LA next weekend :9